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Time
time the less time that i spend with you the less you have to heal i. days Amberpaw’s eyes narrowed as he crouched, extending his forelegs, stiffening his tail. He crept forward, eyes on Mistlepaw. The grey she-cat had a familiar spark in her gaze as she circled Amberpaw, her tail whipping back and forth. Amateur, Amberpaw thought to himself. Even though she’s young, she should know that she should keep her tail straight lest she alert whomever she’s ambushing. Mistlepaw leapt for Amberpaw with an excited squeal. The tom quickly dodged her attack, everything shifting into focus. Her pelt suddenly sharpened, and Amberpaw could detect every slight movement she made. She seemed startled, her paws less than grounded. Amberpaw cupped her shoulder with his paw and flipped the apprentice over. Mistlepaw let out a grunt as her soft, white underbelly was exposed. With a smug grin of satisfaction, Amberpaw pressed a paw to her chest, the rest grounded around her lean body. Mistlepaw struggled under his weight, and then he felt her body go limp. Amberpaw didn’t relax his grip; he knew this move and that she would try to overtake him if he let up. Mistlepaw’s eyes opened, a mixture of anger and frustration mingling in the dark green depths. “That was good, Amberpaw.” The tom nimbly leapt off of Mistlepaw’s body at his mentor’s voice. The grey she-cat scrambled to her feet, shaking off the dust that had accumulated on her pelt. “You too, Mistlepaw.” She brightened at Thornpelt’s praise. The golden warrior was watching them, standing with Leafdapple, Mistlepaw’s mentor, as well as Maplepaw and Chervilpaw. “Mistlepaw, try and step lighter and steadier, and keep your tail straighter.” Mistlepaw deflated as Leafdapple critiqued her. Amberpaw smiled. “And Amberpaw, be quicker to attack. A more experienced apprentice could’ve gotten away before you flipped them on their belly.” Amberpaw’s ears flattened. “The move was perfect!” he protested. “There’s no way to improve it- too slow, my tail,” he added. Thornpelt’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t talk back, Amberpaw, or you’ll be on nursery duties for a moon,” his mentor said harshly. Amberpaw shut his mouth and rolled his eyes, tail flicking angrily. The move really was perfect. The brief pause he took was to size up his opponent and find the ideal location to flip them over- for Mistlepaw, it was her broad shoulders. For someone like Chervilpaw, it was his haunches. “Whatever,” Amberpaw mumbled under his breath. Thornpelt’s eyelids raised, and the ginger apprentice held his tongue. He padded over to sit beside his mentor. “Mistlepaw, I want you and Chervilpaw to try the same move,” Leafdapple said. Mistlepaw gave an excited bounce as Chervilpaw and her faced each other, their pelts contrasting. Amberpaw felt Maplepaw nudge his shoulder. “I thought you were good,” she mewed, green eyes shy. “I haven’t been able to get that move right yet, but you made it look so easy.” Amberpaw hadn’t really paid much attention to Maplepaw before. She was a bit younger than him, but she was an only kit like he was- so, they were apprenticed together. She had a pretty tortoiseshell pelt and bright green-amberish eyes. “Thanks,” he responded coolly, fighting off the heat that was growing in his eartips. Maplepaw’s gaze lingered on him for a little longer. Stop looking at me! Then she shifted and went back to watching Chervilpaw and Mistlepaw battle. Amberpaw’s gaze flickered over to Maplepaw as he attempted to watch the younger apprentices spar. Chervilpaw is too clumsy; he’s putting all his weight on his left side. Mistlepaw’s form is better this time, but she needs to crouch more. Amberpaw wrinkled his nose. She’s flouncy, too. Her leaps don’t have any weight to them. He suppressed a groan. Days are too long. ii. hours “I don’t get it,” Maplepaw sighed as she and Amberpaw made their way through the forest. “Like, I get that, Dad hasn’t been exactly present in our lives,” the tortoiseshell vented, “but she’s having a litter with Barkwhisker so soon after she had me.” “Hush now,” Amberpaw ordered, pricking an ear. Maplepaw silenced, stopping beside the ginger tom. “You know, a little compassion wouldn’t hurt you,” she murmured. Amberpaw glanced at the she-cat briefly before angling his head in front of him, smelling the scent of prey upwind from him. Then he did a double-take on Maplepaw. She looked crestfallen, her green eyes shiny and sad. Her pelt wasn’t as well-groomed as it usually was, and her tail drooped behind her. Amberpaw felt a surge of sympathy for her. He wasn’t that close with his parents, but at least they were there and together. “Sorry,” he mewed. Maplepaw smiled wanly. “Could be worse,” she said softly. “Now, let’s get on with our assessment.” “Of course,” Amberpaw said, relieved. “There’s a rabbit in those bushes. I’ll draw it out, you be ready to catch it.” Maplepaw nodded and took a few paces back, dropping into a crouch. Amberpaw crept towards the bush, claws sheathed, footfalls light on the soft dirt. He padded around the edge and spotted the tall, perky ears of the rabbit poking up from within the bush. Excitement filled him- it would certainly be a hearty meal for when he became a warrior. Amberpaw sprang towards the rabbit. It reacted quickly and hopped out of the bush, straight in the direction of where Maplepaw was lying in wait. Amberpaw burst out of the bush, twigs and leaves marring his pelt. “Did you get it?” he demanded, paws clattering on the ground with a clump of broken sticks. Maplepaw sat in front of him, claws sunk into the rabbit’s neck. “Good work, but you should kill the prey with a bite to the neck. More efficient.” Maplepaw rolled her eyes and scuffed at the ground, creating a hole to bury the prey in. Amberpaw settled next to her, so close their pelts almost brushed. The tom looked away bashfully, helping her to dig the pit. Maplepaw smiled gently. Amberpaw nudged the rabbit into the hole and covered it with a layer of dirt. “Do you want to split up? We’ll get more prey that way,” he suggested. Maplepaw gave a nod of agreement and the two set off in different directions; Amberpaw following the path he had found the rabbit on, and Maplepaw veering off to the left. Dreamy sunshine fell over Amberpaw. It was a good day for their assessment, but it was too bright out and it irritated his eyes. He kept his gaze low to the ground, searching for signs of prey. His gaze flickered to a tree root protruding out of the ground, and he grinned as he spotted a squirrel sitting on top of it, grooming. The ginger tom crept a little closer, not wanting to startle his prey. The squirrel paused and lifted their head up warily. Amberpaw sprang into action, sinking his claws into the small rodent’s haunches and jutting his head forward to place a killing bite square in the middle of his prey. He leaned back, satisfied. It was a clean kill, one that would even make Thornpelt proud. He shook his head, digging up a hole for the squirrel. He didn’t have to prove anything to his mentor. Covering up his kill, Amberpaw sighed as he angled his head skyward. The sun was high in the sky, and he was sure he’d be out hunting for a long while before they had their fighting assessment. He had already caught two pieces of prey with a time discrepancy of a few moments. He’d catch the whole forest when he was done. Hours are too long. iii. minutes “Amberfang! Maplesplash!” Amberfang relished in the cheers; he was finally getting all the attention that he had so vied for in all of his moons as an apprentice. Everyone in the Clan’s eyes were on him. He was the most important one. He straightened and lifted his chin into the air, tail rising upwards. Beside him, Maplesplash beamed. In his moment of glory, he had forgotten that the tortoiseshell was at his side. He nudged her gently, and the two shared an excited, happy expression. He had never felt this way before, staring into her shining green eyes. For a moment he was at a loss for words. “You will both sit a silent vigil tonight and guard the camp,” meowed Hawthornestar, looking down fondly at the two new warriors. “You are dismissed.” The tom flicked his tail from his perch atop a large, worn boulder. As the Clan dissipated, Maplesplash turned to Amberfang and gave a little hop. “We finally did it!” she said brightly. Shifting her paws, she looked down shyly. “I’ve never really liked having all those eyes on me. I don’t know how Hawthornestar puts up with it,” she admitted. Amberfang’s eyes widened. “How? You’re so-” Beautiful. The ginger tom caught himself just before he finished the sentence. He clenched his jaw and looked away, gaze going to the trees lining the camp. Maplesplash waited expectantly for him to finish. Amberfang cleared his throat. “I love being the centre of attention. Everyone finally recognizes me and my skills.” He didn’t want to compliment Maplesplash. He was scared that he would grow close to her- he was already verging on that. Any relationships could be used as a weakness. As a kit, he would hear stories about brave warriors rushing in to save their mate. How they would throw anything away, even give up their own life, so that their mate would be safe. He’d also hear about queens who would lose their mate before their kits were even born. Not that he would ever think of being Maplesplash’s mate. Amberfang felt his ear tips start to heat up at the thought. But still, his point stood. He was scared that if he got too close to the pretty she-cat, he’d become one of those heroes, or even worse, her life would be taken and he wouldn’t be able to do anything. The prospect terrified him. And over time, he was sure it would happen. Amberfang snapped out of his thoughts when Maplesplash spoke again. “Do you want to go check out the warrior’s den? We could set up our nests,” she suggested. Amberfang nodded wordlessly. He could tell that Maplesplash was curious of what he was going to say before he caught his tongue, but he wouldn’t indulge her. The two crossed camp as sunshine fell over their pelts, ducking into the warrior’s den. Nests were arranged in a circle-like formation, with the nests where the senior warriors slept near the centre. Amberfang’s eyes gleamed. He couldn’t wait until he was one of those senior warriors. “We’ll have to start near the edge,” Maplesplash told him. Amberfang grinned, thinking of his future. He’d be respected by his peers when he slept in the middle. He dipped his head and followed the tortie out of the den once again. Maplesplash slowed slightly, and walked in step with Amberfang. Their pelts were brushing. But neither of them broke away. A comfortable silence formed between them. Maplesplash looked to him and smiled gently. Amberfang cringed, lowering his head. Heat spread up his neck and to his ears. No. He wouldn’t get close to this she-cat. She meant nothing to him. But he couldn’t find it in himself to pull away. The minutes I spend with her, Amberfang thought to himself, are too long. iv. seconds “Wait, Amberfang.” Fury glinted in the ginger tom’s eyes as he whirled around to glare at the leader of his patrol, a speckled she-cat named Frecklefur. “I’m gonna follow him,” he growled, his hackles rising. His unsheathed claws sunk into the undergrowth. “Let him go,” Frecklefur said, a hard edge to her voice. Her eyes went to the rogue they had just encountered whose black body was disappearing into the foliage. “It’s not worth it,” she insisted. She tensed, giving Amberfang a look that said do not defy me. “He called Maplesplash a tramp!” Amberfang hissed. “Let me at him!” At the back of the patrol, Maplesplash flushed. Her eyes were glued to the grassy ground beneath her, refusing to look up. Amberfang felt helpless. She looked humiliated, and though she wouldn’t show her face, he could see her trembling beneath her fur. The sight of her so distraught only made him angrier. He lashed his tail. Frecklefur held her ground. “No, Amberfang,” she growled. “You can go after him if you see him back on our territory, but not before.” She stood calmly, taking a step away from Amberfang and Maplesplash, the rest of her patrol. “I’m going to inform Hawthornestar of the rogue. You two come back now,” she said. She looked to Maplesplash. “Maplesplash, make sure that Amberfang doesn’t follow that rogue.” The tortoiseshell nodded miserably without looking up from her paws. Amberfang seethed in anger. Every second he spent waiting and not tearing the fur off of that rogue only made his fury grow, until he was shaking beside Maplesplash. Frecklefur glared at him for a moment, then turned and sped off through the forest, back to camp. Amberfang watch her go through narrowed eyes. Maplesplash nudged his shoulder. “Come on, Amber. Let’s go back to camp.” “I’ll sneak out of camp and find him,” Amberfang promised as they started walking at a slow pace. Maplesplash shook her head. “No, it’s alright,” she meowed quietly. “Don’t do anything you’ll get in trouble over.” “But it’s worth it,” Amberfang insisted. “I’ll call mutiny.” Finally, Maplesplash looked up from the ground. Amberfang was able to see the sadness in her gaze, but there was something else beneath the sorrow, something stronger. He couldn’t place it- he’d never seen it before. The tortie paused and looked at him- really looked at him. Her green eyes were intense, gazing at him. She didn’t seem hostile, just… perplexed. Amberfang wilted beneath her stare, unable to maintain eye contact. Then she kept walking. “I don’t know why you’d do that for me,” she admitted under her breath, her neck craning downwards once again. “I’m just a simple warrior.” Amberfang felt his anger spark to life, mingling with some other unidentified feeling. It felt like the same one he’d seen in Maplesplash’s eyes. “Because I care about you, you idiot!” He bristled. Maplesplash’s gaze flickered up to him. Amberfang flushed. “Sorry.” “It’s fine,” Maplesplash murmured. A small smile made its home on her lips and Amberfang brightened. He had made her happier, at least. He was desperate to get that frown off her face, for what reason, he didn’t know. If he could, he’d banish her sadness with tooth and claw. His paw pads prickled. Amberfang knew that he was getting close to her, and he was worried. He already cared for her; he had admitted that much. But so far, his enjoyment of her company was stronger than his fears. And as he looked at her, he was met with the same feeling he had earlier. He didn’t know what it was, but he thought he liked it. “How do you feel, Amberfang?” Maplesplash asked him. Her green eyes met his amber ones, and he felt his nerves bubbling inside of him. “Angry. Nervous. Upset,” Amberfang meowed. He hated not being able to control his emotions, not being in charge of what he felt and what he didn’t feel. It was a skill he had cultivated since kithood, but now Maplesplash had screwed it all up. “Hm,” Maplesplash chirped, and fell quiet. She raised her head, finally looking straight in front of her. “When I ask you a question, I expect an honest answer,” she meowed. She stopped in her tracks, and turned to Amberfang. “Now tell me, how do you feel?” What was up with this she-cat? Amberfang felt his nerves mounting, his stomach jumping, and his heart racing in his chest. “I…” he paused, collecting his thoughts. He couldn’t focus with Maplesplash looking at him like that. “I don’t know.” He looked past Maplesplash and into the plethora of trees. Maplesplash sighed gently and stepped closer to Amberfang. He could feel her breath on him. His heartbeat sped up, hammering against his chest. Maplesplash was so close to his face, he didn’t know how to react. He didn’t know if he could. His entire train of thought was derailed and he was just staring at her, dumbfounded. “Maybe this will help,” she mewed, looking shy. Amberfang’s entire pelt was on fire. “Amberfang…” Maplesplash paused for effect, her eyes boring holes into the tom’s. “Amberfang, will you be my mate?” Her eyes glowed. “I- I-” Amberfang stuttered, stumbling away. His mind, which had previously been so fuzzy, lit up with all sorts of thoughts and scenerios. Fear gripped him. He shouldn’t say yes… Everything that he had prepared for since he was a child told him say no. Don’t let yourself get close, Amberfang. Don’t. Get. Attached. Don’t you know that’s the only way you’ll get hurt? But Maplesplash was pretty much his whole life. He wasn’t close to his parents, or his past mentor, or anyone in the Clan except for her. If he let himself become her mate, that just opened up a whole slew of opportunities for him, and her, to be hurt. But even so, he realized. He had failed. He had already let himself be attached. He already loved her. And his fears, his pride, his worries… He’d have to put them all aside for the only cat he cared about. He stared into Maplesplash’s green eyes and saw his own fear reflected in them. They were both so terrified of what could happen. And as the seconds ticked away, their nerves only grew and grew. “Yes,” he finally said. “Yes. I will be your mate.” The seconds I spent looking into her beautiful eyes were too, too long. v. moments Kits. His kits. Maplesplash was going to have Amberfang’s kits. His worry kept him up at night, and as the date grew nearer and nearer, all he did was pace back and forth in front of Chickadeewing’s den. More than once, the mottled she-cat had come out of her den to scold Amberfang, saying he should make himself useful and would ask if he wanted any thyme for his anxiety. “I’ve never met a to-be father more scared of having kits than the mother,” was one of her favourite quips. The fact that Amberfang was going to be a father was scary to him, but he was more terrified of what could happen to Maplesplash. What if she was too weak to give birth? What if she got sick, and it got passed down to the kits? The kits. Amberfang couldn’t believe that he, of all cats, was going to have children. He was committed to being the best father he could be- the one that he never had. Determination filled him. All things considered, he was excited to be a parent. And so it came that he was fetching some prey for Maplesplash as the chill of Leaf-Fall stung his skin. Their kits would be tough, he decided, since they would have to grow up in the cold weather. Fear suddenly gripped him. What if they died because of the cold? What if they didn’t have enough to eat? Amberfang shook his head fervently. He’d hunt extra hard all Leaf-Bare long so that they would stay happy and well-fed. From the fresh-kill pile he plucked a hearty mouse and started over to the nursery, prey swinging from his jaws. When he stepped into the den, all he saw was Maplesplash lying on the ground in anguish and her only denmate, Wildtail, standing over her, her kits shoved behind her. Wildtail glanced up at Amberfang, who dropped the prey he was holding. “It’s time,” she mewed. Maplesplash let out a wail and convulsed, a contraction wracking her body. “Maplesplash, hold on! I’m going to get Chickadeewing!” Amberfang yelled before pivoting and running straight out of the den. He exploded into camp, pelt ruffled, feeling panic seep into his veins. He bolted over to the medicine cat’s den, his nerves piling up inside of him. The ginger tom stuck his head through the entrance to Chickadeewing’s den. Fear fueled his rushed tone. “Chickadeewing, Maplesplash is kitting!” The she-cat’s yellow eyes gleamed with alarm at Amberfang’s appearance. The brave, no-nonsense tomcat was reduced to a quivering pile of fear and anxiety. It seemed like such an oxymoron. But nonetheless, it was how he was at that moment. Chickadeewing dipped her head and moved to the back of the den, quickly collecting some herbs, a swatch of cobwebs, and a stick. Amberfang waited by the entrance impatiently. “Alright Amberfang,” Chickadeewing meowed as she quickly bundled up her herbs in a large, waxy leaf and returned to his side. “Let’s go.” The pair hurried out of the den. Nerves muddled Amberfang’s mind as he bounded back over to the nursery. “Maplesplash?” the tom whispered as he crept into the nursery. He was met with a pained groan and his heart squeezed. His mate looked tiny against her nest, sweat matting her beautiful pelt, her gorgeous green eyes dull and milky. Amberfang felt terror like he had never felt before take ahold of him. “Maplesplash, it’s going to be okay,” he murmured, gently nuzzling the top of her head. “Stay strong. You have to stay strong for our kits.” Wildtail stepped back from the two, ushering her own kits away from Maplesplash. Amberfang crouched over the tortoiseshell, trying to calm her by tenderly licking the top of her head. Chickadeewing went to work, nudging a small leaf with rigid edges towards Maplesplash. “Eat this,” she instructed. Maplesplash leaned forward and groaned, gingerly taking the herb between her teeth and chewing slowly. Amberfang felt her shudder. “Wildtail, get Maplesplash some water.” The tabby she-cat nodded, and with a few words to her kits, left the den. “Alright Maplesplash, I need you to stay awake, okay?” Chickadeewing said, massaging the she-cat’s belly. Maplesplash recoiled at her touch and a thin whimper came through her lips. “Push,” the medicine cat directed. Maplesplash let out a strained scream and Amberfang felt all his fears, which had stilled, rush back. He was trembling beneath his fur and shifted closer to his mate. This was why he didn’t want to get attached. Because of Maplesplash, and the mere prospect that something would go wrong, he was more scared than he had ever been in his life. She made him weaker, and he let it happen. Because he loved her. “Push, Maplesplash!” Chickadeewing ordered. Maplesplash grunted and her body let out another rapid convulsion. She squeaked in pain. At that moment, Wildtail re-entered the den with a sopping clump of moss. She padded around the perimeter of the den and set it down next to Amberfang. “The first kit is coming,” Chickadeewing declared. Amberfang’s stomach leapt up, and a bout of nervous energy shocked his body, a spear of anxiety ripping through his chest. Maplesplash curled into herself, letting out an exasperated groan. The tortie bared her fangs as another contraction surged through her. “You’re doing fine, Maplesplash,” She yowled in response, and a kit finally slithered out and plopped down onto the nursery’s ground. Chickadeewing scooped up the sac and passed it to Amberfang. He looked down at it, dumbfounded. He felt a wave of love pass over him. This was his child. “For StarClan’s sake, Amberfang. Let the kit out and start licking it!” Chickadeewing hissed. Amberfang snapped into action and nipped the sac encasing the kit. It was released and it let out a little squeal. Amberfang realized they were ginger and white, like him. He bent down and quickly started to groom the kit. Chickadeewing was about to go back to work when her eyes widened, and she froze. “Oh no,” she breathed. Amberfang’s blood turned to ice beneath his fur. A horrible, horrible feeling of dread filled him, spreading through his chest and probing against his stomach. He suddenly felt incredibly nauseous. “What?” Amberfang mewed shakily. “She’s not supposed to be bleeding that much.” Chickadeewing peered around Maplesplash. Amberfang also realized that his mate had grown eerily quiet, the only noises coming from her being slight whimpers. Chickadeewing clawed at a white pile of cobweb and stuck them to Maplesplash. She barely reacted. “Maplesplash?” Amberfang meowed loudly. The she-cat flailed her paws and let out a thin wail. Amberfang pressed his muzzle to the nook of Maplesplash’s neck. Her breathing was so shallow. A dark fear nestled itself deep inside Amberfang. He was so aware of his anxiety and fears that he was calm; despite the fact that he was shaking like a kit ice-skating for the first time. “You can do it, my love,” he whispered, just loud enough for his mate to hear. “You’ll be okay.” “Amberfang?” Maplesplash’s eyes flickered open. “Amberfang, are you there?” Amberfang looked up at her. “What is it, Maplesplash?” he whispered fearfully. “Can you… Can you do something for me?” she asked. Her voice was trembling, breath shaky. She winced as a contraction rolled through her. “Anything,” Amberfang meowed. “Raise this kit to never fear love; for it is not a weakness, but an asset. Love it with all of your heart.” At Amberfang’s paws, the kitten whimpered, like it knew it was being talked about. Maplesplash’s face wore a small, gentle smile. “Love is the most important thing.” “What are you talking about, Maple?” Amberfang nudged his mate. “You and I are going to raise this kit together. And you’re going to have more than one! Right Chickadeewing?” The ginger tom looked up at the medicine cat nervously, who only stared back at him with hollow yellow eyes. “Right?” Maplesplash shook her head softly and flinched. Amberfang straightened, and for a few moments, he saw his mate’s beautiful, beautiful green eyes rest on him. They weren’t glazed. They were gentle, like they had been ever since they first talked, on that fateful day during battle training. “Oh, Amberfang,” she whispered. “I love you. Please, take care of our kit.” Her eyes flitted closed, then opened ever so slightly. “Goodbye.” “Maplesplash!” Amberfang screamed. Fear pulsated through his veins, and he leapt to his paws. “Maplesplash, you’ll be okay! Please! Don’t die!” The tom’s legs quivered, threatening to give away beneath him. “Maplesplash, I need you!” His vision blurred as his mate’s eyes gently closed and her head dropped to her nest with a sickening thump. “No!” Amberfang screeched as his knees buckled beneath him. He collapsed onto Maplesplash’s body and buried his muzzle in her still-warm fur. Sobs choked him and he felt all of his grief crash down onto him. “Maplesplash, please don’t die,” he blubbered. “I need you. Don’t die. Don’t die.” But she was already dead. She was dead, dead, dead. Maplesplash had gone. Maplesplash. Had. Gone. Amberfang wailed into his mate’s pelt. “I killed her!” he exclaimed, lifting his head upwards. His eyes burned and his throat was on fire. It felt like he was being suffocated, pressure mounting in his throat. “I killed her! If I-I hadn’t of been her mate, she wouldn’t have died!” he shrieked. He was shaking- though that wasn’t new. “Oh, Maplesplash!” Amberfang tightened his grip on his kit, who was flailing wildly in his paws, mewling in protest. He needed milk. He needed a mother. He needed Maplesplash. And so did Amberfang. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed into Maplesplash’s fur. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” His words started to blend together, his breathing rapid and shallow. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he repeated, inhaling her scent. “I’m sorry!” he howled. “StarClan, why did you take her from me! I killed her! Take me instead!” he pleaded. If she could come back, only for a moment, Amberfang would be happy. He could properly say goodbye. But she had been stolen from him before he had the chance, ripped away so cruely by the stars. Beneath his sorrow, he felt anger burn in the pit of his stomach. He wanted her back more than anything- Respect, leadership, acknowledgement. None of that mattered. He wanted Maplesplash. But he couldn’t bring her back. I loved her, and I lost her. I got hurt because I cared too much. I should have ''never let this happen. I swore I’d keep to myself, not care about anyone, never let myself get hurt. I wouldn’t get close. Don’t get attached. I promised I wouldn’t. Don’t get attached. Don’t. Get. Attached. But I failed. I did. I loved her. And now StarClan is making me pay the price for it.'' It was my fault. And every moment that passes without her, I feel the hole in my heart grow and grow until it steals through my whole chest. I miss her. Love is a weakness. Love can hurt you. Love is horrible, love is not the most important, and it’s the scariest thing in the world. Amberfang wept into Maplesplash’s fur, sobs rattling his chest. He would have rather died than Maplesplash. A kit needs its mother. Its father? Useless. He wanted her back with every fiber of his being. He had so much to say to her and so little time. Because moments are too short, he realized. He had always thought time was too much of a particular for him. Everything was too long, he didn’t get why they had such constructs. He could do everything he had to do and call it a night. But now he had finally understood. Moments are too short. And time was against him his entire life. '' ''